


Retreat

by Akiko_Natsuko



Series: Reaper76 [39]
Category: Overwatch (Video Game)
Genre: Acceptance, Comfort, Friendship/Love, M/M, Reality of War, Soldiers, War
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-10-15
Updated: 2018-10-15
Packaged: 2019-08-01 03:00:00
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,344
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16276547
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Akiko_Natsuko/pseuds/Akiko_Natsuko
Summary: Jack wants to save everyone, even if it costs him everything and its left to Gabriel to haul him to safety and to convince him that retreat isn't always a bad thing





	Retreat

Fire. Reload. Fire. Reload.

    Jack was beginning to lose himself in the repetitive action, muscle memory keeping him going even as his thoughts began to blur. How long had he been doing this? How long had it been since the order to retreat had come through to their position? He wasn’t sure anymore, the only thing he knew right now was that he couldn’t obey that order, he couldn’t just walk away and leave the people that were still trapped in the city without help. He knew that he was courting death or punishment by remaining where he was, but he didn’t care, he couldn’t turn his back on them whilst he could still fight, even as he acknowledged that that he was pushing himself too far, too hard, too fast.

     He could feel exhaustion beginning to seep in, settling over him like a leaden weight and slowing him down. Even his SEP enhanced body couldn’t go on indefinitely, and he had already been close to the limit before things had taken a turn for the worst, and this time when he raised his rifle there was no way for him to miss the tremor that wracked his hands. He didn’t falter at the sight, instead he just tightened his grip and squared his jaw. He couldn’t stop now, he wouldn’t. He didn’t care what happened to him. No, that wasn’t completely true, there were things he still wanted to do, reasons for him to live. However, his life paled in comparison to the lives of those that he was fighting to save, the lives that he could only save as long as he kept fighting, as long as he refused to turn away like his orders demanded.

     Somewhere, deep in the recesses of his mind that he didn’t like to contemplate, he knew that he was doing was pointless. That one man couldn’t save everyone, and that ultimately his fight was doomed to failure, but it was a thought that he refused to acknowledge, pushing it to the back of his mind. With it he pushed his awareness of the voice coming through his communicator repeating the order to retreat with increasing urgency, and the knowledge that he might well die out here.

Fire. Reload.

“Morrison! Jack!” He started when a familiar voice broke through the haze that had settled over him, cutting through his hard-earned focus, and he snarled, sparing a quick glance behind him. Gabriel. He felt a brief spark of relief at the sight of the other man, one of the few he trusted unreservedly to have his back, but it faded quickly as he doubted that Gabriel had come to help him this time and he glanced away once more. Resuming his steady fire, trying to fall back into his previous rhythm as he fought to ignore Gabriel and the glare that he could feel burning into his back. “Damn it Jack!” He couldn’t ignore the heavy hand that landed on his shoulder a moment later, hindering his movements and he snarled again, twisting savagely as he turned to glare at Gabriel, blue eyes overly bright.

“What?”

“We’ve got to go. Now!” It was an order, and Jack blinked, realising that this wasn’t Gabriel, his best friend and possibly something more that he was talking to. Instead the man he was facing at the moment was his commanding officer, and for half a moment he felt himself wavering, his training urging him to obey, along with his experience of following Gabriel and the fact that the other man usually steered them right. But, before he broke completely he shook his head, the urge to obey fading as they heard a fresh battery of Bastion fire in the distance, followed by screams that his fingers tightening against his gun, his expression resolute as he met Gabriel’s gaze.

“No.” _I might not be able to save them all, but I can save more than this…more that we would if we walk away now._ He didn’t say that aloud, didn’t want to hear himself admitting that he couldn’t save everyone, or admit that at some point, whether intentionally or now he was going to make a choice about who lived and who died. He was waiting for Gabriel to yell at him for his refusal or threaten him, but there must have been something in his expression because when Gabriel spoke again, it was the soft voice of a friend that he heard.

“Jack…”

“I’m not leaving.” _I can’t._ He turned away, tightening his grip on his weapon. That was his mistake. He should’ve known that Gabriel wouldn’t take that answer sitting down, and he realised his error a second later when Gabriel’s voice changed again, this time a low growl that carried more than a hint of menace.

“What…?” There had been something about that tone that had made Jack start to turn back, tensing in preparation, not sure what to expect, only to be caught by surprise when Gabriel tackled him. Whilst they were fairly evenly matched in training, he had been caught by surprise and with exhaustion pressing in on him there was no way for him to free himself, and he found himself being quickly heaved up and over Gabriel’s shoulder. It took him a moment to take in what had happened and to realise that Gabriel was already moving…in the wrong direction. At once Jack began to squirm, struggling to free himself even though he knew that Gabriel was like a dog with a bone and that he probably didn’t stand a chance in hell of getting free now that he had been caught. It didn’t stop him from trying, or from protesting loudly. “REYES PUT ME DOWN! REYES!”

“Why? So, you can get yourself killed?”

     It was the calm, almost emotionless way that Gabriel asked that made Jack paused. If he hadn’t known the other man as well as he did, he might have missed the tension, the hurt beneath those words. As it was, it felt as though the air had been knocked out him and for a few minutes all he could do was lie there draped over Gabriel’s shoulder, the sounds of the Omnics and the city falling apart fading behind them as he tried to gather his thoughts.

“I wasn’t trying to get myself killed.” The words tip-toed out, sounding uncertain even in his own ears, even though they were true. It hadn’t been what he’d been aiming for, or what he had wanted, but it wasn’t something he had let himself worry about or that he had actively tried to avoid. “People are dying out there Gabe, innocent people…people I should be protecting, that we should be protecting, that I could protect…”

“You can’t save everyone Jack,” Gabriel murmured, and this time his voice wasn’t emotionless, instead it was warm but pained. A subtle reminder that they’ve seen the same things, survived the same things, shared the same emotions and thoughts, and Jack presses his face into the small of Gabriel’s back as he absorbs the words and the silent reminder, and when he speaks his voice was barely audible.

“I know that…”

“Do you?” Gabriel asked, but not harshly, sighing as his arms tightened around Jack. It was the closest he could get to a hug in their current position, clearly unwilling to trust Jack enough to set him down just yet, although his voice was softer than ever as he continued. “Sometimes you have to retreat, to accept that you can’t save the people in front of you right at this minute. You don’t have to like it, but you can’t dwell on it forever. Because retreating, staying alive even just a little longer, means that you will have the chance to fight another day. And if you can fight another day, you can fight for others and save other people. Not all of them, but more than you would if you threw your life away in a fight like this, that could never be won.”


End file.
